Sometimes I question if there’s one single piece of thread that holds together the fabric of life so tightly. I wait for an answer. Looking back, I have always questioned a lot but that was before I knew I could be patient. I’d have a day and feel on top of the world, I couldn’t just wait. Waiting just always seemed to end up with me getting ready to have another graceless evening at a local bar. I’d wait for the pain to leave my starved body as I wrestled into “standing jeans.” “Just wait till I am thin; they will love me.” I’d like to think the thread is waiting. We all wait. But I am no longer waiting to be “good” enough. I have made the choice confront what I was running from. The silence. “Will they still love me?” I do not fear my future. I do not fear the unknown. I do not fear myself. Why should I fear what others speak upon?

I now wait for pastries at coffee shops, for my friends to come out of the movie theater bathrooms, and for the life I was born to live and enjoy. You were also born to live and enjoy. My wish to you is to show yourself grace for how you have dealt with waiting time in the past. Just know today all of your moments or desires of emptiness can and will be fulfilled.